Ish…

So the other day was the ex’s birthday. Now we have not spoken in months, he tore me to pieces and i was advised to stay away from him (you know, to move on etc). But staying away has two effects on me, the feelings are potent (curiosity is a female trait) and they switch between utter disappointment and missing him.   its been months. In these months he has made the same effort i have to get in touch (nothing) and i am not sure if he is going through the same torment that i am (or if i should care). I am told that my feelings are not normal, by now i should have moved on.

well, I am no guy magnet (looks wise), andevery guy who wants to ‘date’ me wants other things too (lets just say i am very traditional and this is why we broke up inthe first place before other things) so my attractiveness on the bro scale falls short of 3.

Now the other day was his birthday marking a little over a year since we broke up so why am i holding on? Why should i care or remember that this day had passed or even occurred? should i not be thinking of it as a day i wish had never happened? Shouldn’t i not be thinking of it at all?

Pissed off at my feelings and confused at my thoughts, i write this vent to clear my head of the message it keeps repeating and hopefully get over it and move on.

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