There is a common belief that the longer you stay with someone the more you look like them, I have a different view of this statement, idiom, phrase, belief? In my opinion, we tend to be attracted to people who remind us of well us. We as humans have a natural sense of self obsession, why do you think ‘smiliar interest falls top or nearly the top of the quality list as a basic requirement for a relationship.
If you take a closer look at couples, young couples who have recently been married, been in a longer term relationship or are engaged and you are certain that they are right for each other, you will find that they tend to have facial similarities. Similarly young dating couples in a casual relationship to show a similar pattern. I personally am attracted to a certain smile I thought was unique until I noticed that I had that same smile.
Which brings me to my point, where else is the law of attraction found in relationships? Doesn’t general demeanor, sense of confidence, place in society play a role; Ever wonder why the jock always dates the babe in high school, lawyers tend to get with lawyers and doctors with doctors. In other words, in society’s hierarchy of needs where status, income, job play a role, perhaps you will give out these vibes that communicate to people in the same hierarchy as you that in fact you are a suitable mate.
Which might explain the dilemma that occurs when you see a potential mate, you approach them and make your move and they brush you off. Your thinking, they are not all that anyway. Perhaps what you think you are is NOT what you really are? Sometimes you know you’re just aiming high hoping to get lucky, I mean, this is where the phrase ‘out of my league’ came from. But sometimes you’re not, sometimes you think you are in the league but they don’t. Begs the question: But what are they thinking… about me?
Simple case and point: we had a gardener, interesting fellow, hard working, had so many projects going on in real estate construction. He was gardening and then went into construction he was putting in projects in several areas at once, running a business while masquerading as a garden boy. This guy hit on me every-time we met. He was always on this ‘I will marry you tip’. I thought ‘hell no’, not my type, way below my league, not gonna happen. I recently met the guy, the only thing that has changed about him is that he now has an afro, still walks to work, is currently running several projects with a major real estate giant; and he is getting married. (hint: I am still single) so there I was brushing this man off because of the ‘he is out of my league argument’ I have no idea who his future wife is but I am sure she is in his league, in the end she is marrying a contractor, with a business and future, who knows today he is subcontracted, tomorrow is pushing a merc over seeing several major real estate projects, the point being that I felt he was out of my league but perhaps he was out of mine.
So I am attracted to these types, tall, good looking with that killer smile, great sense of humour, powerful demeanor, confident, manly men with a fun streak, the walk to work, DIY types and I have met a few, many of whom are friends of mine and can’t understand why I am single you know because they can see I am a great girl. None of them have ever said that I was their type and they would have loved to date me. Might this be because, even though I am in their circles, know them, befriend them, can discuss intelligently with them; I am still a few steps shy of striding on par with them? Do I perhaps lack the final missing ingredients that will make them notice me and want to be with me? Do I not have to work on filling in the blanks? Perhaps I should actually buy my own car, move out, run a business or be employed by someone who is NOT my parent, sever some ties to home. Perhaps I am not as I believe… my own woman.