I was going to write a blog about how we need at least three parents each, two sperm donors and an egg donor. The reason being that at any one point we’d be over compensated parent wise, not everyone has the privileged of having a close relationship with their parents. We tend to be close to that other person in our lies, an uncle, an aunt or our grandparents.
That’s when it hit me; we are already over compensated with parents, because we have 6 to our names. Two grand parents from each side and one set of parents. Our grands spoil us rotten, it’s like they live their lives to see their kids grow then find a certain peace in holding their grandkids. Like an accomplishment of sorts; where the next generation is some external surety of continuity but most importantly success. But the one thing they do is NOT parent us, no they become the parent they wished they could be to our parents: all the fun and games, spoiling through gifting with no real responsibility attached to raising the child.
We have two in each side, and if we are lucky, we get the grand parents who want to be a part of our live, spoil us rotten, listen and advise and are not too old to play with us. If we are lucky we grow up appreciating their presence in our lives.
I write this in tribute to my late grandparents; I unfortunately lost the last one two weeks ago. She died in an old age home hospital bed of heart failure (after a morphine overdose in my opinion) this grand was the gifting kind. She had expenses on her credit cards but then every time she got one she’d spend it on clothes and things for us, her grand kids. Apparently she was very energetic, funny, stern, kind hearted yet strong, moody but tolerant, a huge gossip but great judge of character. In her last days, she was a mere shadow of her former self but still fighting to live. I cannot say for certain if in her last moments she died alone, I can only hope that she was with someone by her side as she passed on as were all my other grandparents (so I am told).
Her passing afforded me the great opportunity to meet with my family on the other side of the family tree, a family composed of interesting characters with great senses of humour that get along splendidly well; like when your siblings are just great friends; Uncles and aunt from all corners of the planet with different personalities who are in fact, the same. And access to some of the memories my fortunate cousins, nieces and nephews have of my grandparents. I felt almost complete mixing and mingling with them because they were the missing piece to my completion.
In conclusion; as this particular blog MUST have one, is this. If your grandparents are alive, consider yourself lucky, if you think they smell funny and are old so what, they are not trying to get laid. If they are an old couple and still together, get to know how or where they found the strength to keep their love going for so long. If they gift you with frumpy ugly homemade sweaters, wear em, frame em whatever just take em because they are the simple gifts and things you will end up appreciating when your grandparents are gone. Hug them and tell them you love them because just like you, they too need to feel appreciated. And most importantly cherish the moments you have with them because in just one moment, they will be gone.
RIP: Bha, Bhapuji, Baba Mkubwa and Marehem Mama