I recently went to an image consultancy workshop where an image consultant gave a list of some basic tips on how to dress your style. This was an eye opener for me. Feeling inspired I went home thinking who exactly MY style inspirations were and I settles in 4 different women: Cam from the series ‘Bones’ whose dress style is inspired by Victoria Beckham; Ellen Digenerous from ‘The Ellen Show’ whose tom boy look is very practical and finally Barbie. But I did not stop there, I went further I analysed my colour preferences, my shoe style, my hair styles and everything about me, put it in a mood board and I was just thrown away by what I wanted and then just deflated by how far I was from there… where I wanted to be.
The summed idea of me is this Barbie inspired woman with this designer dress style, crazy manicured hair and who does the most outrageous amazing things for herself commanding respect and awe wherever she goes striking fear those who just do not understand what standing out is about. Then I opened a magazine and found a very colourful image of Nikki Minaj.
Nikki is a fellow 84 with a degree in music, she comes from a mixed background and had contributed greatly to music before getting to where she deserved to be: the limelight. She admits to having made mistakes, good mistakes from where she learned to be the person that she is today. Other than her talents in music she is just outwardly what I wish I could be; sexy, feminine (yet very masculine in demeanour), highly respected in spite of her outrageous ways, fearless in expressing herself and even though people raise their eyebrows when they see her, Men love her.
She raps in a variety of voices and assumes multiple personalities. And even if people think that some if not all of her is fake, this is one woman I firmly believe knows herself. If there was a person on this planet I honestly wish could be it would be Nikki Minaj.
I aspire at least to be just like her. To ignore what people tell me about me because I cannot mould myself to suit what people want. I say I am confident and they feel it in my tone and when I speak to them, but when they meet me they think the opposite and say so too. I can look a person in the eye, I never fold my arms, I don’t have my hands in my pocket even when I am just walking alone, I groom and dress well all the time. I keep a firm stare ahead when I walk and I am very sure about what I want and am not afraid to ask for it.
To further elaborate my point; I have no idea how many stare offs I’ve had with people I am just talking to (or maybe it’s in my head). And even if I speak in earnest, my looks no matter how I dress them, make me look young. And YES when I dress up, I am scary to many. I do not see or feel the need to apologize for being myself or change anything about me just because people cannot relate to me.
The only reason I have not switched that on constantly is because I honestly cannot afford it…yet, But it’s time for that dramatic change, let me be the ‘Me’ I want to be henceforth, wear the $100 shoes and the $150 dresses, the makeup and the jewelry and let’s see people just try me. SMDH