I cannot afford my life. I cant move out. I need a new car. My PC needs to be replaced. My business has no clients. I have no money, I am broke. I cant. My hands are tied. I want to. I want that. I NEED that. Look at her. At least she has that. OMG at least you can. I still have a long way to go…

These words echo daily. I sit in my room in a foetal position, tear strewn. Mad, upset and constantly self flagellating. There I am unhappy. I have way too long to go. And nothing is working for me. So it seems.

One day, an inspiring message falls in my lap. This is the point when inspiring messages finally made sense. Reading how someone persevered past their problems. That breaking-turning point. The one thing that stands constant with all that have made it, is the appreciation of the self at that time.

How can I persevere, grow or become better, if I cannot appreciate myself? The person that I am right now? There is not real progress or happiness or growth without pure, self love.

The process of improvement is hard. Its hard to love myself. Its hard to be happy when I want so much more but…I am beginning to appreciate the little that I have which, incidentally is way more than what most people have.

My first manicure at 32. Came with a free coffee